Publish date:

All-NBA Zombie Team

Author:
Fadeaway World

Fadeaway World

Your alarm goes off in the morning.

You smell smoke and ash.

You hear sirens, screams, growls.

You look outside and notice that as you've been sleeping, there was fully-fledged biowarfare going on outside your house. You start to panic but realize that you've been preparing for this moment for years. Your first instinct is to grab any weapons that you can get ahold of, but suddenly your phone rings.

It's the NBA Commissioner Adam Silver.

He needs your help.

The zombies have challenged us to a game of basketball and he needs you to assemble the squad.

This is who you want on your All-NBA Zombie Team.

Point Guard: Russell Westbrook

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Fast. Strong. A beast himself. To be honest, I'm certain that he might take a bite out of a few of the zombies himself. Coming off of this

Coming off of his well-deserved MVP year, is there anything Westbeast couldn’t do?

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Shooting Guard: Kawhi Leonard

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He isn't called the Silent Assassin for nothing.

He can get in and out without the zombies knowing what even came by. With KaWow being one of the best two-way players in the league, he can steal the ball and run it all the way back for the nastiest dunk, all without letting his emotions get in the way.

Small Forward: LeBron James

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He may be getting older, but with that age comes wisdom.

His abilities to get around quickly and find the correct play is his best asset in this situation. Plus he is still fast enough to not let any biters get to him.

If they do happen to double team him and get close enough to bite, he is also strong enough to knock them back and drive to the bucket.

Power Forward: Zach Randolph

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Yes, we already have Kawhi, and you might think this is strange, but it's more a strategic choice than anything else. Because let's face it, in a zombie apocalypse, you always want someone else to be the slowest person.

Center: Dwight Howard

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He might be soft but he's fast. This could help to outpace the walkers on both sides of the court.

Grabbing offensive and defensive rebounds and putting it back in with the dunk is one of Dwight's specialties, and hey, if he is eventually bitten, those zombies are gonna have a tough time eating through those shoulders of his.